Forgiveness Is About The Forgiver - Not the Forgiven
My mother asked me a question the other day.
"Have you ever heard of a thing called forgiveness?"
She asked me this in response to my vehement opposal to having a particular person invited to my baby shower. I won't go into my thoughts on my control over the guest list of my own baby shower. Instead, I'd like to discuss the topic of forgiveness.
Long story short, there's simply been a great deal of misbehavior and mistreatment of other family members by this person and after one-too-many times of "I'm sorry" meaning nothing because they were back at it again... I just cut them off.
I told my mom, "Forgiveness means I harbor no bitterness toward a person for their actions. Just because I have forgiven a person, does not mean that I will choose to continue a relationship with them."
Really, forgiveness is more about the forgiver than the forgiven.
Releasing the toxic, negative energy you feel when you're angry with another person, letting it go and choosing not to feel that anymore, is liberating. Not only is it liberating, I think it's a healthier way to live. I ended up telling my mom, after much discussion, "Listen, I forgive them. I just don't care about them anymore."
Since when did forgiveness correlate directly to forced friendship/ kinship? After the fifteen billionth time a person has shown their true colors and done something to hurt you (or the people you love) I think it is not just a fair decision, but a healthy one, to decide to cut that drama out of your life. Sure, at family gatherings (that may or may not include my baby shower), I'll act pleasant and be polite. That's the point of forgiveness - not harboring bitterness.
There has to be a line, a point at which if a person crosses it, you stand up and say, "No more."
It Does Not Matter Who That Person Is. Let me say it again, for those of you in the back. IT DOESN'T MATTER WHO IT IS! Be it your father, brother, uncle, grandparent, neighbor, whoever. Everyone deserves to have a line that ought to be respected by others. If someone chooses to disrespect your boundaries, time after time, you have the right to end it. On the flip side, if you choose to continue on, that is your choice and no one should fault you for that, either.
Let's strive to be respectful of each other. And yes, let's forgive one another. But, let's never forget to also respect ourselves in the process.
"Have you ever heard of a thing called forgiveness?"
She asked me this in response to my vehement opposal to having a particular person invited to my baby shower. I won't go into my thoughts on my control over the guest list of my own baby shower. Instead, I'd like to discuss the topic of forgiveness.
Long story short, there's simply been a great deal of misbehavior and mistreatment of other family members by this person and after one-too-many times of "I'm sorry" meaning nothing because they were back at it again... I just cut them off.
I told my mom, "Forgiveness means I harbor no bitterness toward a person for their actions. Just because I have forgiven a person, does not mean that I will choose to continue a relationship with them."
Really, forgiveness is more about the forgiver than the forgiven.
Releasing the toxic, negative energy you feel when you're angry with another person, letting it go and choosing not to feel that anymore, is liberating. Not only is it liberating, I think it's a healthier way to live. I ended up telling my mom, after much discussion, "Listen, I forgive them. I just don't care about them anymore."
Since when did forgiveness correlate directly to forced friendship/ kinship? After the fifteen billionth time a person has shown their true colors and done something to hurt you (or the people you love) I think it is not just a fair decision, but a healthy one, to decide to cut that drama out of your life. Sure, at family gatherings (that may or may not include my baby shower), I'll act pleasant and be polite. That's the point of forgiveness - not harboring bitterness.
There has to be a line, a point at which if a person crosses it, you stand up and say, "No more."
It Does Not Matter Who That Person Is. Let me say it again, for those of you in the back. IT DOESN'T MATTER WHO IT IS! Be it your father, brother, uncle, grandparent, neighbor, whoever. Everyone deserves to have a line that ought to be respected by others. If someone chooses to disrespect your boundaries, time after time, you have the right to end it. On the flip side, if you choose to continue on, that is your choice and no one should fault you for that, either.
Let's strive to be respectful of each other. And yes, let's forgive one another. But, let's never forget to also respect ourselves in the process.
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